My child is being bullied!

It happens so suddenly: a child starts acting aloof, even detached, and doesn’t seem as happy as he or she once was. They might suddenly not want to hang out with a group of friends anymore, or could even change their behaviour dramatically.

All of these are signs of potential bullying, something that can be hard for a child to process when they first encounter it, or if it is a recurring situation.

For parents, it is important to understand that bullying is not simply rude or mean actions, but intentionally aggressive behaviours that get repeated often and that are fuelled by an imbalance of power. The bullying actions could be physical, verbal, related to a friendship that used to exude power over another, or even be related to cyberbullying.

As parents, we definitely do not want our children to suffer at the hands of others … but how do we manage these situations?

In this article, we will be looking at tips for parents whose children are dealing with bullies, and how they can give their children the tools that they need to stand up to the perpetrators.

Tips for parents

1. Consider having a talk with your child’s teacher or school principal

Although no parent wants to embarrass their child, it is still important that they still act when there is a case of repeated bullying and that these acts need to be reported. So, be confident, approach the manner delicately and make sure that records are kept about incidents. If it comes to that point where the guilty party’s parents are called in, do remember that some schools prefer to address the parents only about their child’s behaviour.

2. Encourage your child to stand up for himself, but in a positive way

Bullies often experience gratification when their victims go on the offence and retaliate … however, by teaching your child to brush their words off and simply walking away is a more effective approach than encouraging them to “fight” or say mean words back. Remember, set an example for your child to be the better person – even if someone else makes it difficult to be so.

3. Always check in with your child after school

It’s true: no kid wants a nagging parent, but if something feels “off” when you pick them up, gently broach the subject. Ask them how their day was, who they interacted with and if there were any situations where someone acted unfriendly towards them. Remember: if your child feels that their needs are a priority, they will most likely be more inclined to share with you if they had a rough or bad day.

4. Help your child to gain confidence in themselves

Often, bullies can make a child feel inferior or unworthy of who they are or even the way they dress. So, help your child to build that inner strength and resilience: encourage them to take part in activities that boost their self-esteem, and praise their progress along the way.

Final thoughts

Bullying is a worrisome occurrence, but as a parent, you can help your child deal with these negative behaviours. Always remind your child of their worth, and that living their own truth is where it counts – always. Keep the lines of communication open, and always ensure your child that you are there for them if they ever experience bullying.